The Springbok head coach argued that the breakdown had become an 'unfair contest' as he sought to stave off attacks on his side's disappointing performance.
"They (the referees) should not be open to public enquiry just because coaches have their own agenda," O'Brien, himself a former international referee, told The Independent.
"All the countries have been invited, after each match, to put a report forward on every referee where they have got concerns.
"Countries like England, Wales, Argentina and many others have all spent time after games submitting very mature reports. That is very valuable to us.
"However, I have yet to hear from the South Africans all season. There is a medium to go through and that is me, but I have no sympathy for a coach that wants to go through the media rather than me.
"I will be meeting Peter later in the month and if he has any grievances he will have a chance to bring them to me."
In addition to making his feelings regarding de Villiers' media comments perfectly clear, O'Brien also stressed his disappointment with the way in which South African captain Victor Matfield acted against the All Blacks.
"Captains don't have the right to question decisions. But Matfield was questioning almost every one and arguing.
"Matt Goddard's lack of experience counted against him; he should have stopped it. It's disturbing to see players disputing every decision. They can't do that. They are delaying the opposition and in a lot of cases it is done deliberately to slow the opposition down. It's got to be stamped out."